Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
