Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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