I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
