nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
