Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize