She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
