Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
