I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize