S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize