i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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