im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the day after is always just damage control
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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