Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
