oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
its liver damage thursday
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