i can't believe i had my finger in that
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
