Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
