I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
