i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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