Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
