My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
