I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
