I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
