So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
