so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
