i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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