He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
