It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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