hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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