We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
