I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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