I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize