We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
