if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
