I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize