I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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