the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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