Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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