Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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