The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
