What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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