You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
