i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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