bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
