So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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