idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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