I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
