So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
