Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
