never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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