I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize