new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everclear isn't food dammit
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
