Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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