Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My ass is underappreciated
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
