I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
