what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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