Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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