i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
