dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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