i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
