WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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