we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
