I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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