no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
